Insanity
by DarkPoisonousLove
Summary: Valtor isn't all that fond of Griffin's idea to spend their weekend stuffed into a cabin with her friends that barely even acknowledge him. However, once they get there, he figures out the real reason behind his resistance and it turns out it is a different kind of insanity than what he originally thought. Modern Day AU. Part 1 of "Sparks of Life".
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This originated as a fill for a drabble prompt I got on tumblr. You can tell how well the "drabble" part went so I decided to post it as its separate story. It is also a part of my 100 followers celebration on my main blog. Hope you'll enjoy and tell me what you thought since this is different from what I usually write.**

"This is insanity," Valtor huffed as they stood in front of the wooden door of the cabin. How had he allowed to be dragged in the middle of that?

"Please, just give it a chance," Griffin looked at him as she wrapped her arms around his bicep. And the look on her face made it perfectly clear that he was under her spell. He couldn't deny her anything. Even spending their weekend with her friends, crammed in a what he had to admit looked like a very spacious cabin in the middle of nowhere.

He sighed. "Okay."

The smile that lit up her face was the brightest thing he'd ever seen but his admiration of it was interrupted when the door opened.

"Griffin," Faragonda's loud voice hit his ears. The exclamation was full of excitement but to him it was just irritating if not downright offensive. And the hug that followed even more so since it had Griffin let go of him to wrap her arms around her friend.

"I take it everyone's already here then?" Griffin asked. The cabin was property of Oritel and Marion whose explanation for its remote location was that they wanted some peace and quiet away from the hustle of the city–living like royalty certainly was extremely hard–so they had to be there already. And Faragonda's presence meant that Hagen was also there, completing their group of six. Now if there was anyone Valtor was less than thrilled about having to live with for two whole days–and the Friday evening–that was the overdramatic robotics engineer who turned all lovey-dovey around Faragonda. It wasn't a pretty picture.

"Yes, we're all here," Faragonda said as she finally let go of Griffin, the smile never leaving her face. Valtor could sometimes swear that her muscles were frozen in that expression. How was she always so cheerful? "Come on in," she stepped aside to let them into the cabin.

Griffin gave him a look that he couldn't quite decipher–was it encouragement or a plea for him to try to curb his irritation with the whole ordeal–and took his hand, pulling him inside.

"Valtor," Faragonda nodded at him when he walked past her and closed the door behind their backs.

"Griffin," Marion who was already on her feet despite being well into her pregnancy greeted as she took his wife's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Oritel, they're here," she turned to look at her husband who was so sucked into whatever he and Hagen were discussing that he needed her to snap him out of it.

"Hello, Griffin," he threw absentmindedly at Griffin's direction before focusing back on his conversation.

Hagen barely nodded towards Griffin and completely ignored Valtor as well as he kept talking, something about electrical fences and wild animals which sounded undoubtedly fascinating.

Marion shook her head before turning back to Griffin. "You know how they are," she said apologetically.

"I know," Griffin chuckled, obviously not offended by the impolite treatment from both men. She swung Marion's hand that she was still holding in hers. "And how's little Bloom doing?" she looked to Marion's belly. She was talking about the baby. Valtor would've probably known that if he paid more attention when she was talking about her friends but he tended to tune out all information about them. He could only handle so much of their dismissal when it came to him. He knew they'd only invited him because of Griffin and their attitude showed that clearly.

"She's fine. Kicking a lot," Marion finally pulled her hand out of Griffin's to put it on her belly. "She might be reacting to all the soccer and martial arts her dad and his best friend are watching." She laughed and both she and Griffin turned to look over at Oritel and Hagen who were now arguing about sports as if on cue. "Welcome to our little escape spot," she turned to Valtor, startling him. He hadn't expected to be acknowledged any further than Faragonda's nod.

"This looks like a real palace by cabin standards," he said instead of greeting her in return which had Marion purse her lips and Griffin shoot him a look. "I was afraid we wouldn't have space to breathe but it is both roomy and cozy," he commented, getting an amused smile from their hostess and a grateful look from Griffin. He could play a role if necessary. But he couldn't understand why Griffin wanted to drag them both into a situation that required that of him.

"You must be tired from the long road," Marion said. "Why don't we sit down?" she moved to one of the three couches that were all put at the sides of a coffee table that was longer than the dinner table he and Griffin had in their dining room.

Valtor decided to save the remarks since Griffin wouldn't appreciate them. He had no trouble driving long distances–especially when Griffin was sitting right next to him and he got to enjoy her company for hours on end–but he was still silently fuming about the whole situation. They could've been home, spending all day in bed and reading poetry or driving to a charming little village that was barely visible on the map and spending the night under the stars if the weather allowed it or cuddling for warmth beside the fire in the cabin they would stay in. And they were in a cabin but with four sets of prying eyes that he could've been perfectly content without.

He sat down next to Griffin and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer, glad to feel her lean against him. To prove his point about the prying, both Faragonda and Marion grinned at them as they were making themselves comfortable, Faragonda helping her pregnant friend to sit down.

"There's tea if you want some, Griffin," Faragonda turned towards his wife. "And there's also cooled wine," her gaze moved to him.

"Yes, Faragonda tells us that's your drink of preference," Marion chimed in, making him tense, feeling oddly exposed even from that little detail that they now all knew about him. He probably had to be glad that Faragonda cared enough to remember anything about him that she didn't have to. She'd always been the one friend of Griffin's that was easier to tolerate–luckily for him since she was his wife's best friend–even if he hated to admit it. She was so friendly that she inevitably got under anyone's skin. Griselda and him were the best examples of that even if he wouldn't be caught dead admitting that out loud. But he still hated the thought of the rest of them having any information about him that was even slightly personal.

"He could do with hot cocoa, too," Griffin said as she nudged his shoulder playfully. However, she reached for his hand and took it in hers, her fingers brushing against his skin soothingly. Yet, the touch also carried a hint of a plea. She was trying to bridge the gap between him and the rest of the company. And she was asking him to help her or at least not get in her way. So he held on to her hand and allowed her to steer him through the interactions with her friends.

He quickly discovered that he preferred to listen to the baby care tips Marion and Faragonda were discussing–especially after he'd noticed the slightly dreamy look on Griffin's face–rather than participate in a discussion with Oritel and Hagen even if their topics were right up his alley. Oritel was a businessman like him and understood economics and finances but Valtor knew from Griffin that Marion was the real talent when it came to business. And that quickly proved to be true as he listened to her talk about things that weren't even related to that. She was definitely someone who could interest him in having a conversation with her. Which probably would've been preferable to the game Faragonda and Marion insisted on playing.

After they managed to break through to Oritel and Hagen and get them out of their bubble, they explained the rules. You draw a card from the set and answer the question on it about your partner. The couple that knew each other best would win the most points and the game. Or at least so it was supposed to be but Valtor disagreed. There was no way Marion and Oritel knew each other's tastes and were in better sync than him and Griffin. Oritel had spent a total of five minutes with his pregnant wife since he and Griffin had arrived hours ago. Meanwhile, he had been by Griffin's side the entire time. And the fact that he was counting on her to not feel isolated was only half the reason.

He loved spending time with his wife and learning all the little details about her and exploring the different thoughts that ran through her head even if they didn't really go anywhere in the end. They could and had spent entire days in bed just holding each other and talking about anything from how toothpicks were made to the secrets of the universe and the meaning of life. Curiosity had always been the basis of Griffin's nature and he loved to indulge her, following whatever directionless logic she was pursuing.

So what if he didn't know the name of every single plant she was growing? She had dozens of them, all of them different since she loved variety and held the passion of an explorer when it came to botany. It didn't mean Oritel knew his wife better just because they'd beat them with one point. So he could stop fawning over himself and pestering him.

Griffin tried to distract him–very successfully–with cuddling into his side and peppering kisses all over his face while Faragonda was laughing at a joke–a rather bland one, no doubt–that Hagen was telling her. She didn't seem upset that the two of them had come in last place and very far from the other two couples. It was obvious that Hagen loved her in his own–rather clumsy and brutish–way. And as much as he hated it, that helped Valtor relax as well.

After dinner they relocated in front of the fireplace, imitating a gathering around the campfire. And in the spirit of that, they started telling stories. He hadn't thought Faragonda had more stories about the shenanigans she and Griffin had gotten into when they'd been students that he hadn't heard before but it turned out she did. Apparently, the two of them had set free a lioness on their visit at the zoo on a school trip, effectively shutting down the resented institution for the whole day and earning suspension for themselves. That did indeed sound like his wife.

That reminded Oritel of a time when he and his wife had taken their older daughter–Daphne–to the seaside and the girl had befriended a dolphin that had come surprisingly close to the shore. It had whisked her away while she was holding on to the fin on its back and had had her worried parents chasing after them with a boat that Oritel had outright stolen from the port.

The memory had Marion laughing nervously, saying how she hoped Bloom wouldn't follow in the footsteps of her older sister, at least when it came to that. And the way Oritel wrapped her in his embrace and stroked her hair which had a tangible effect on her made him feel a pang of guilt for doubting the man's love for Marion, apart from it making him uncomfortable of course. But he realized that he and Griffin must have looked quite the same with their earlier PDAs. Though, he supposed it was the unguarded emotion that the couple showed so openly that had that effect on him. It was strange. Like they were trusting him with their secrets and he didn't know what to do with that.

More stories followed and as much as he genuinely enjoyed hearing them, he had nothing to tell himself and it left him with the same crushing feeling of isolation. And even the warmth coming from Griffin's form pressed into him didn't help chase it away.

He excused himself, saying he wanted some fresh air and walked outside. Thirty seconds later he was regretting not taking his coat and about ready to start moving around in order to generate some heat into his freezing body. He wasn't going to go back inside, though. He couldn't. The atmosphere of friendship and laughter was like an electrical charge to his nerves and the cold of the coming winter was better than the internal chill he felt as he listened to their funny stories.

It didn't take long–probably about two more minutes–for Griffin to come after him, wrapped in her jacket and carrying his coat with her. She handed it to him silently and he hastily shrugged it on, beyond grateful. And the feeling intensified as she handed him his gloves, too. She was wearing hers already.

"What will I do without you?" he asked partly because it was true and partly because he was fishing for a particular answer.

"What is troubling you?" she asked instead, seeing through him like she always did. He had to stop trying to steer her into the direction he wanted things to go in and start being honest instead. He'd promised himself he wouldn't manipulate her no matter how much willpower he'd need to resist his instincts. He'd promised himself that he'd be better to her than... than they'd been to him.

"I was starting to suffocate in there," he said and it was the truth but he was still running away from what he had to say.

Griffin didn't give him a choice, though, for she stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. And he really hated that because it would be so much easier for him to just not talk about the demons in his mind that would eat him alive and try to bury them ever deeper where they'd never see sunlight again than it was to bring them to the surface and face them. It would be so much easier to not acknowledge his weakness. It would be so much easier to pull her into a kiss and get lost in her lips where the memory of being without her and more alone than anyone could ever imagine didn't seem to exist. But he loved her for being so patient with him and loving him enough to gently take his hand and lead him down the right path instead of leaving him to self-destruct.

"Everyone started telling childhood stories and it hit so hard when I once again realized that I have none of those because I was never allowed to have a childhood." His mothers hadn't wanted a child. They'd wanted an heir for their business empire so that was what he'd always been. "I don't have fun stories about the trouble me and my friends got in. I got in a lot of trouble with my mothers for barely breaking some of their countless rules and I never had any friends." Once the words were started pouring out, he couldn't stop them. They'd talked about this before–she knew everything about how concerning the early years of his life had been before his mothers had been sent to jail for corporate fraud, leaving him to pick up the pieces on his own–but it had jumped on him once again while he'd been listening to the happy stories. "It felt so lonely... even in a room full of people and warmth."

Griffin took his hand in hers and he was disappointed that he couldn't feel her skin thanks to the gloves they were both wearing. "I'm here for you and you'll never have to worry about me leaving," she gave him the answer he'd wanted to hear before now that he'd come clean to her. "I will always be here. And I can't change the past but the future is all in front of us and it's up to us to shape it the way we want it to look. That's why I insisted on coming – I wanted to make some memories with friends."

Valtor nearly gasped as he realized that she'd been doing it all for him. She'd dragged him there to have him bond with others when there were no distractions he could use as excuses. She was so adamant about him spending time with her friends because he still didn't have any of his. And she'd been trying to help him make some. How had he not noticed sooner? And now that he thought about it, he'd actually had a good time. He'd just been trying to deny it because of the blockage in his mind. Griffin was right. They couldn't change the past but they could do something about their future.

"However," she started in that devilish tone that always meant she was up to something, "I think some alone time will do us some good. Come on!" she pulled on his hand, dragging him away from the cabin.

"Where are we going?" Valtor asked, barely keeping up with her despite his larger stride.

"There's a clearing just a little away from here. I saw it when I was checking the map." Of course she had. And of course her sense of direction was faultless and she could find it without any help. She'd probably memorized the entire map and orienting in the forest was not a problem at all. "We can do some stargazing," she said as she looked up. "The sky is clear tonight." It was indeed and it was full of tiny beautiful lights that drew her like she drew him to her.

"We'll freeze in this cold," Valtor objected. He was in no way against alone time with her but it was the wrong season for stargazing. And he doubted that even cuddling could keep them warm at that weather which was a shame, really.

"Unless we get that blanket I left in the car just for a situation like that," Griffin turned to look at him, a wide grin plastered on her face. She'd planned it all even before they'd left home.

Valtor shook his head, more in amusement and awe of her, rather than surprise. "This is-"

"Insanity?" Griffin offered as she unlocked the car to grab the blanket she'd brought so considerately.

"My thoughts exactly," he said before pulling her into a kiss that surprised her if judging by the little moan that came from her throat. He wanted to show her how much he appreciated everything she did for him but he wasn't all that good with words when it came to emotions. So he opted for the language he was fluent in as he made a mental note to never doubt her. No matter how ridiculous her ideas may seem. She was always prepared and would never let him down and that much was clear by the love she put in every one of her actions when it came to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This went so overboard that I can't even begin to comprehend what happened here. Anyway, enjoy all the words since they sucked the life out of me to get down but I won in the end.**

Valtor groaned, protesting against the fact that he was being awoken rather than against the way it was done. He could never complain about Griffin kissing him. Even if he was in a situation where he had no air left, he would still want her to kiss him. He was, however, disappointed that she'd already gotten dressed and the turtleneck she'd chosen did not leave an inch of skin exposed for his appreciation. He'd be worried she might have caught a cold last night if he didn't know her choice of clothes was strategic since she was trying to hide the marks he'd left all over her body and way up her neck that they required a high collar to hide them.

They'd cuddled while watching the stars and might have gotten a little more handsier than expected. The weather did not allow for any more... intimate escapades out in the open, though, so they'd come back to the cabin. They'd been in luck to find that everyone had gone to bed before their return or they would've had to stay in the car, and he despised even the idea of that. Apart from it not being much better than the outdoors it was also uncomfortable and simply not up to his standards for activities like what he'd had in mind.

Griffin had managed to get him to their room as opposed to staying in the living room and risking getting caught which didn't mean it hadn't ran through his mind. It certainly would've been... amusing to look Oritel in the eyes the next morning without him knowing what had happened on the couch in his own living room. Just because they were getting friendlier didn't mean he had to behave one hundred percent of the time. He'd promised Griffin to do his best, though, and he'd allowed her to get him to their assigned room where they'd spent a good hour or two just sinking into each other and soaking up each other's warmth. He couldn't have dreamed of a better end to their day but they had carried on into the late hours of the night and waking up so early was something of an issue.

Griffin managed to coax him out of bed with kisses and a reminder that he'd agreed that they'd cook breakfast for the others together. He'd been quite enthused about the idea when she'd suggested it but without a proper rest he was ready to tell everyone to go take a hike and just pull her back into bed and fall asleep again, wrapped in her embrace. He didn't want to disappoint Griffin, though, and undermine their good start from the previous day so he forced himself out of bed, even if not without some grumbling first.

Griffin seemed amused by his grumpiness but was quick to help him get over it simply by being herself. Her radiant smile as she prepared to cook and the spark of joy in her eyes were enough to convince him the early morning had been worth it. And that thought was only reinforced when she hugged him from behind and took his hand to help him beat the eggs. He was so content that he couldn't even feel incompetent about being unable to do it on his own.

He'd never been taught how to cook and only that there were people who would do that dirty work for him because they were lesser than him. It had taken him ages of watching Griffin cook and feeling the peaceful energy coming off of her to root out those ingrained beliefs from his mind. He could only understand the enjoyment she got from the activity now that he'd tried it himself, though. And he wouldn't mind doing it again with her by his side, literally holding his hand since he would probably burn the entire kitchen down otherwise.

Their bubble of silent happiness got burst when Faragonda walked into the kitchen with a smile on her face that only widened when she saw them. Valtor tried not to get irritated by it since she was just happy for them–even he could read that into the situation–and it was better than any of the others walking in on them.

"Good morning, lovebirds," Faragonda chirped, her grin widening even more at the tease and the mean look Griffin shot her that didn't hold long before the smile hiding beneath broke out.

"Or is it good night?" Marion chimed in as she joined their little–although, it kept growing–group in the kitchen. "It was quite late last night and you still hadn't come back. Did you manage to get some sleep?" she asked, and the genuine care in her voice didn't allow Valtor to get bothered by the question. She wasn't trying to pry into their privacy. She just wanted to make sure they were okay.

"We did," Valtor answered and turned to look at Griffin who looked like she couldn't find her words currently, probably surprised by his initiative. "We had a wonderful night," he smirked at her before he turned towards Faragonda and Marion and winked to give his words enough ambiguity.

Faragonda seemed to recover first and backed up her knowing look with a small smirk of her own while Marion looked completely out of place in her own kitchen–as if she was an alien–now that he'd given an unexpected reaction which may or may not have been his intention. If they wanted to tease them, they had to take the risk of ending up flustered themselves.

"Breakfast is almost ready," Griffin said, interrupting the awkward silence that had settled over them and he could hear amusement with a hint of pride and mischief in her voice. It made his victory even sweeter to know he had her full support.

"You shouldn't have," Marion said as she put a hand on her belly. She did look touched, though.

"No, it was the least we could do," Griffin insisted. "After all," the drawl probably raised all kinds of alarms in those it was directed at but to him it was just amusing, "it's been such a pleasurable experience," Griffin said as she came to stand next to him and wrapped her arms around him like she owned him which–in all fairness–she did. "Having us in your cabin, I mean," she cleared up, smiling innocently at Marion who seemed to have lost all ability to speak. She either hadn't seen that side of Griffin–which he doubted since his wife and Faragonda were just as much of a troublemaker duo as him and Griffin–or she hadn't been prepared for their synchronized attack.

"Relax, Marion," Faragonda laughed sympathetically as she put a hand on her friend's shoulder since she looked like she needed it. "They just love to mess with people like that," she said as she shot them a warning look that was just playful enough not to be taken seriously. It was now that she mentioned it that Valtor realized that he'd actually gotten comfortable enough around her to show his true self. Before that he'd only allowed himself to be less serious and carefree around Griffin but spending time with Faragonda had naturally led to him not resenting the idea of showing more in front of her.

"We should be careful, Griffin," he turned to his wife, the worry in his voice and his expression so terribly faked that it probably hurt to witness it. "Or else Faragonda will start policing us. She may even try to handcuff us," he said, barely keeping it together at this point.

Griffin shook her head but smiled nonetheless before she let go of him and went back to tending to their breakfast. The displeased expression he got from Faragonda this time looked real, though.

"Come on, Marion," she said as she wrapped an arm around her friend's shoulders as if to shield her from the horrific spectacle that was playing out before them. "Let's set the table," she offered as she made a quick stop to grab some plates and cutlery. "It can be quite a shock to be around them when they get comfortable with you and start with their insufferable jokes," she said and led the other woman out of the room.

"You wound me, Faragonda," Valtor half-yelled after her and it was only partially to keep up the charade. Her words did sting a little with the realization that she'd figured him out sooner than he had but he shrugged it off, trying to focus on the progress he'd made. "That went well," he said as he turned to look at Griffin who was just arranging the French toast on two big plates to take out to the dining room the existence of which just proved he was right about calling the construction a palace instead of a cabin.

"It wasn't so bad," Griffin said as she stopped her work and turned to look at him. "Just, please, don't push yourself to overshare because you feel like you need to prove something," the look she gave him was the one that always made him melt with the care and affection it held. And once again she'd read him better than he could read himself just like she always did. "Take it at your own pace," she cupped his cheek, regarding him with the patience that he couldn't find when it came to himself. Or anyone else that wasn't her but that was not the point currently.

She was right of course. He had to calm down and evaluate his actions carefully to avoid doing something he would regret. The moment of clarity he'd had the previous evening had been exhilarating as he'd felt like he'd broken free from his past but the fact that he could now look ahead without fear did not erase everything he'd had to go through to get to where he was. He was still that boy that had been taught to be a robot instead of a human and it had left him on unequal footing with everyone else no matter how much he despised admitting it. And the conversation with Marion and Faragonda may have been him pushing himself a little more than necessary. Not that he regretted it per se but it did leave him feel a little too overexposed in retrospect.

"You're right," he said as he caught her hand and brought it to his lips so that he could trail kisses up her palm. The turtleneck she was wearing drew all of his resentment to itself for the second time that morning when it got in his way once again but getting denied the access to her skin left his mind unoccupied for long enough for him to come up with an equally delicious idea.

He grasped at Griffin's index finger gently enough to not hurt her accidentally and guided it into the jar of strawberry marmalade she'd opened to serve with the French toast. Dipping her finger into the substance drew a gasp from her that reminded him of the previous night and made him yearn to make her make all those sweet sounds again. She'd tried to keep quiet so as to not wake the others which couldn't have been easy for her considering how vocal she usually was in the bedroom–enough so to compensate for when she'd sunk into a book and nothing else existed in her world–and the strain he'd heard in her voice when she'd moaned his name had driven him insane. Insane and desperate to hear it again. But for now he'd have to be satisfied with getting to lick the marmalade off of her skin and watch her take a deeper breath as his lips closed around her finger and held it in place while he swirled his tongue around it.

"You should stop," Griffin tried, going for stern but her voice was far too breathy for it to have the desired effect. It only betrayed how affected she was by what he was doing. "You're playing with fire," she warned as she swallowed and tried to keep her gaze off his mouth as he released her finger to speak.

"I love playing with fire," he said as he let go of her hand only to put his on her hips and draw her closer, pressing himself against her firmly. She would've pulled away already if she really was against the intentions in his head that she could most certainly read.

"This isn't a good idea," Griffin said as she held on to him so hard that he wouldn't have been able to step away if he'd wanted to. Not that he had any intentions of the sort. "The others are right in the other room and expecting breakfast," she tried to reason with him but he couldn't be bothered to give a damn. In fact, now seemed like the perfect moment to tell their friends to go take a hike–literally–so that they could have their privacy.

Valtor pulled Griffin into a kiss only to have her part her lips for him immediately. She seemed like a rational person until you got a peek under the facade she'd crafted carefully and kept up at most times to protect everyone else as well as herself. The more passionate and impulsive side of her was therefore unknown to everyone she hadn't chosen to show it to and he was thrilled that he got to know it since it was the real her and it had been what had made him fall in love with her and want her so badly every minute of every day. And she always proved to him she felt the same way.

She moaned when his tongue found hers and she probably tasted the scent of marmalade lingering on his breath. It was a soft and quiet sound but it held promises of much more that he couldn't wait to explore. It seemed, however, that they'd have to put that off when they were interrupted by a shout from the living room.

"Did you fall asleep in there?" Hagen's loud voice was like a gunshot to Valtor's ears and had quite the same deadly effect on his plans. It forced them to break the kiss so abruptly it felt like someone had chipped away a part of him. "We're waiting for our breakfast here," he spoke again, though, this time a little quieter since Faragonda had probably taken it upon herself to subdue him.

"I told you," Griffin whispered, not enough air left in her lungs for more, before she pulled away from him to go and grab the marmalade and one of the plates, leaving the other to him and walking out of the kitchen.

Valtor swore he'd never forgive Hagen for the rude intervention and took the other plate, heading after Griffin. He'd be damned if he let Hagen of all people ruin his mood.

It seemed like the man was hellbent on doing exactly that, though, if the words Valtor overheard on his way were any indication.

"...surprised Valtor didn't burn the kitchen down while helping," Hagen's grating voice cut through his nerves. He was right in his assumption that Valtor was a total disaster in the kitchen, of course, but that didn't stop him from getting offended. He'd be happy to make a bet with the robotics engineer and burn _his_ kitchen down to see how long it would take his inventions to fix it. However, he'd promised Griffin to try to get along with everyone–and apparently that also included cases in which the favor wasn't being returned–so he went for another approach.

"What can I say?" he asked cheerfully, announcing his presence and drawing all the attention. "Griffin is an amazing teacher," he looked Hagen in the eyes, holding his gaze to let him know what he couldn't tell him without upsetting Griffin, then turned to her after he set the plate down, gave her a wide smile and pulled her into another kiss. It couldn't quite make up for the one that had been interrupted, for he cut it short since the purpose was not revenge on Hagen–no matter how tempting that was–but it would have to do as he didn't want to make Griffin feel uncomfortable. He could sense that all eyes were on them which meant she could, too, and he wasn't trying to upset her. He just wanted to show his appreciation which he'd been doing before they'd been interrupted so inconsiderately.

Everyone was terribly busy serving themselves when they parted but he was preoccupied by watching the slight blush that colored Griffin's cheeks and smiling at her to be bothered by the tense atmosphere that he was responsible for. Griffin just seemed to be affected by the kiss, not by the way everyone else was reacting to it so he had nothing to worry about.

"What took you two so long?" Faragonda asked as they were making themselves comfortable at the table and Valtor could almost swear that she did it just to provide him with the perfect opportunity to get back at Hagen. He couldn't be certain what the glance she gave him meant, though, but he took the chance she'd given him.

"Griffin was just letting me have a taste," he said, forcing himself to hold back the smirk when Hagen nearly choked on his toast.

Faragonda didn't react, letting Hagen calm down on his own, Marion gave him a quick look as if to tell him she was over her initial shock and was no longer fazed by his comments while Oritel looked a bit scandalized but chose to keep it to himself.

Griffin took his hand under the table and squeezed as if to ask him if everything was okay.

It was. As long as she was there with him, he could go through everything. He'd gotten through things so much worse than some snide remarks about him. And now he had her with him. So he squeezed back and it seemed to reassure her enough to allow them both to return to their breakfast and enjoy each other's company even when they weren't alone.

The rest of breakfast went much smoother since his message seemed to have reached everyone or it was simply that no one was in the mood for sneaky fights. In any case, it made sharing his time and his meal with the rest of them rather pleasant and not something he'd wish to avoid at all costs from now on which could be counted as a surprise. He'd arrived at the cabin prepared to suffer silently through hollow interactions with people who secretly despised him–and he them–for two and a half days but so far he'd been proven wrong as it had been an enjoyable experience. Mostly. And it was something he could get used to and maybe even learn to love.

After they were done, Marion suggested to move things outside since it was an unusually warm day for that time of the year. That led to Oritel and Hagen carrying the table and some chairs outside since Marion had to rest and not stand on her feet too much and some comment from Hagen about him probably not knowing how to lift when he offered to help. Not even a minute later Griffin stepped badly, hurting her ankle and asked him to carry her outside.

He was happy to oblige and had to restrain from making out with her again as he picked her up. The feeling of her wrapping her arms around his neck didn't help and neither did the conspiratorial smile she gave him. It made setting her down into a chair dreadful since it meant he had to let go of her.

"Thank you, my knight in shining armor," Griffin cupped his cheek and there was genuine emotion shining in her eyes at the action despite the playful words. It tugged on his heartstrings to know that he had someone who loved him so truly, to know it was her.

"Always, my queen," he said softly just like she made him feel–soft, so soft and so light, and full of love–and caught her hand, placing a kiss on her palm again. This one was different from the previous, less passionate but more devoted and sensual. It was a confession of his love that he couldn't and didn't want to put in words with people around them that were intruding on their privacy and the sacredness of his feelings.

Griffin smiled at him, her eyes turning a bit glossy as if tears were on their way to them, and closed her fingers around his, holding on to him tightly.

Approaching steps ended the moment they shared before Faragonda spoke. "Are you reenacting a period drama or something?" she asked, now that she was certain they were back with her and she'd broken them out of their fascination with each other as gently as possible.

Griffin rolled her eyes but she couldn't really get mad at Faragonda so she was smiling at her almost instantly. Their friendship was–dare he say it?–adorable–Griffin had spent three days not speaking to him the last time he'd called her that–and it was hard for him to believe that he'd been jealous of Faragonda of all people since she'd always respected and supported their relationship. Of course, she'd been critical in the beginning but she'd done it for Griffin, to protect her from getting hurt. And remembering the ugliness of his insecurities that they'd had to deal with made her behavior more than understandable. If he had to be honest, he was glad that his wife had Faragonda, for before he'd found Griffin, he'd never known love and he was relieved that she hadn't had to go through the same. Faragonda had made sure of that.

"I'm leaving her in your hands," he gave Faragonda a serious look which she mirrored as she nodded, taking her job of guarding his biggest treasure seriously.

Griffin didn't let go of his hand when he tried to move, though. "Won't you stay with us?" she asked, her voice halfway to turning into a whine and drawing a smile from him. It was reassuring to know that he wasn't suffocating her with his clinginess and she wanted him to be with her just as much as he wanted it.

"I'd love to," he said as he squeezed her hand, "but I want to put some order in my thoughts." There was a lot to reflect on and a lot he needed to rethink from this new perspective he'd been given the previous evening. And as much as he loved spending his time with her, he couldn't focus on anything else to save his life when she was close. He wouldn't have it any other way, but sometimes he had to put some physical distance between them if he wanted to get anything done. "Besides, we wouldn't want to have anyone make any comments about me holding on to your skirt all the time, would we?" he smirked, though, it was more ironical than anything else. He still wasn't over Hagen's remarks even despite Griffin's efforts to distract him.

Griffin gave a half-irritated huff in response to either the memories of what had happened or to him bringing it up again. Probably to both. "Just don't get in trouble," she said as she rocked their joint hands before letting go of him.

"No promises," he teased and walked away from them to the feeling of her feigned glare since the real ones could cut through you even if you had your back turned to her.

He heard Faragonda apologizing for Hagen's behavior and was glad that she hadn't done it while he'd been there, for he would've had to disappoint her by not accepting the apology. It was pointless for her to be sorry on Hagen's behalf when he clearly wasn't. He'd disappeared with Oritel to show him some project that he'd brought which meant they'd probably went to the cars that were parked behind the cabin. At least he knew where not to go.

He wandered around aimlessly, for it was too cold to just sit at one place. Though, Griffin, Faragonda and Marion didn't seem to have a problem with it so maybe it was just the thoughts in his head that left him with that impression. He couldn't chase away the memories that had started coming back to him and had even haunted his dreams that night. Memories of his childhood. Of all the words and punishments that had left him alone. Not just because he'd been taught to avoid getting close with people but also because they'd made him so different from everyone else that it was practically impossible to make friends, and he still couldn't understand how Griffin had come to love him.

It was why he couldn't stand Hagen. He was always so loud and took up space like he was free to just exist without having to rearrange himself to fit any expectations anyone might have about him. He always spoke what was on his mind and remained himself no matter what as if to rub it in Valtor's face that he'd been allowed to grow into his own person while Valtor had had to turn out the way his mothers had wanted him or there would've been consequences. He'd never had the chance to make his own fate while Hagen was using all of his choices to keep being the simple man he was. And that was enough for him and for the people who loved him while Valtor had never been enough no matter how hard he'd tried. He'd only ever been enough for Griffin and while that was all he really needed, it hurt to be so blatantly rejected so many times by everyone in his life even when he was doing his best. It was all extremely offensive and Hagen just kept reminding him of that with his remarks and general treatment even if he didn't know it. But it wasn't Hagen's fault.

It all lay in the past that wasn't up to change. He wouldn't try altering anything if it meant he was risking losing Griffin anyway. But he was still left with a block of ice in his heart that hurt even when it was melting slowly and made moving on that much more painful and trying. And even though he wasn't apprehensive about the future when he knew Griffin was there with him–always–he was still left disappointed by it, by all the unnecessary obstacles that had been forced in their way and they'd have to get through if they wanted to have a normal life. It wasn't fair. Griffin deserved better. And frankly, so did he. He deserved some peace after everything he'd been through but he was forced to battle the consequences instead and at this point, he couldn't even find it in himself to be angry. He was just tired.

He'd ended up on the porch and used the opportunity to lean on the wooden beam that was doubling as fence and watch Griffin. She seemed consumed by the conversation but immediately lit up when Marion took her hand and placed it on her belly so that she could feel the baby kick. Even though he couldn't really hear them from where he was standing, he could tell she was cooing at the baby. She was radiating so much joy and enthusiasm that he felt warmth flooding him just by watching her. He could only imagine the smile she'd have when she got to hold little Bloom for the first time. Or her own–their–baby.

The thought startled him and he was almost happy to hear footsteps approaching him even when there was a fifty percent chance they belonged to Hagen.

It was Oritel who joined him, though, and leaned on the beam as well, looking at where their wives were sharing a pure moment. And that somehow made him feel like him and Oritel were sharing a moment, too.

It was new, unfamiliar, even... strange. Especially when he realized that Oritel must be feeling the same deep love for Marion that he was feeling for Griffin and that somehow connected them. He'd never thought about his interactions with other people that way, through feelings. He'd always watched their actions and read into their words in order to be ahead of them, but feelings had only come into consideration when deciding on a way to manipulate whoever was standing against him. It was all he'd known, all he'd been taught. And now was the first time he'd ever thought that feelings may be what made him similar to others.

It would've been quite the shock to hear that when he'd first found himself free from his mothers as they'd been convicted, or a year ago, or perhaps even the day before. He would've been offended by the insinuation that anyone could know what he'd been through. But people were capable of sympathy and empathy–even if he lacked those himself–and he'd long accepted that when he'd accepted the comfort Griffin had offered him when he'd found it in himself to tell her his life's story. Perhaps others could understand him, too, if he just allowed them to.

"Have you thought about having kids?" Oritel asked.

Valtor's head snapped in his direction and his mouth opened but no sound came out of it since he wasn't sure how to react to the casual way in which he'd been served the question. It was like Oritel was asking him about the weather or something like that. As if it wasn't a big deal. And to Oritel maybe it wasn't but to him... Maybe they were far from understanding each other yet.

"Because Griffin looks like she has," Oritel continued as he looked at him, bringing him yet another shock even if his tone was apologetic. As if he was trying to explain himself and his bluntness which would've been welcome if it had been done more thoughtfully. Currently, it nearly gave him a heart attack.

He looked back at Griffin just to be met with the same sight as before but now it was put in a different context. Her enthusiasm over Marion's pregnancy looked like longing now and the joy seemed somehow incomplete since it wasn't her own baby she was talking to. And of course he'd seen the keen interest with which she'd been listening to the tips Marion and Faragonda had discussed the previous day but he hadn't been prepared to draw the conclusion that she was ready for a baby so he'd chosen to ignore the signs. Oritel had acknowledged them for him, though, and he wasn't sure how to react.

He thought back to what Griffin had told him in the kitchen. Don't share more than you're ready to. Was he ready to share his thoughts on the matter with Oritel, his worries and insecurities? And if he didn't, who could he share them with? He only had Griffin and he wished to have a little more clarity when it came to his own feelings on the matter before he talked to her. He didn't want to come off as if he didn't want children and hurt her. But there were many things to consider and... he needed a friend. And perhaps Oritel hadn't earned that title for himself yet but he was the one that was most likely to understand seeing how he was a father already. He'd been where Valtor was now. Or at least as close to that as he could get.

"I... I haven't really thought about it," he said carefully, half expecting Oritel to bite into him and call him irresponsible and maybe even inhuman since children had always been a main focus of society and everyone who wasn't ready to have them as soon as they turned into an adult was seen as abnormal. When the truth was that there were so many things that were bothering him in regards to that, so many things that could go wrong. He didn't want to become a father only to realize he wasn't ready to be one and he would never be because he'd been damaged so badly by his own so called mothers. He still doubted that he was good enough for Griffin sometimes and bringing a child in was a very real possible route for the future that he'd been avoiding like his life depended on it. Even if it was selfish to do so.

"Scared to become a father?" Oritel asked but there was no mockery or judgment in his voice and it was less of a question and more of an observation. So maybe he'd been right to dive into the conversation despite the resistance he'd met from himself. "I know I am," Oritel said as he looked away as if it was his turn to expect a strong reaction.

There was one but Valtor tried to contain it as much as he could, for it was too soon after he himself had been scared of the response he'd get to his thoughts for him to forget how it'd made his heart race, as if someone was holding a gun to his head. "I don't understand," he tried, hoping it wasn't too rude of him to still be honest if it was done in a more contained manner. He wasn't trying to be offensive but he was confused to the point where it would show no matter how much he tried not to let it.

Oritel chuckled halfheartedly. "You're not the only one," he turned to him again and he looked so lost himself. "I'm just as freaked out as I was the first time around," he admitted. "Maybe even more." It was so strange to see him showing his insecurities. Not that Valtor had spent enough time around him to know how he usually acted but he could tell this wasn't it. Oritel had gone out of his way to tell him that, he'd trusted him and Valtor couldn't for the life of him figure out why.

"But... why?" he asked, risking to sound like an asshole. It was becoming hard to juggle sensitivity and understanding and he deemed the latter more important so he went for it. Ideally, he would pursue both but he was just starting to figure out communication with people who weren't Griffin so he still had a long way to go there. He was down to baby steps for now, and the irony in that did not escape him. "You've already raised one child," he added to show he was actually taking things into consideration and not just blurting out whatever came to mind.

"That's exactly it," Oritel said, just adding to his confusion. He seemed to get that as he started gesturing as if to help make his explanation clearer. "It puts things into perspective. I've raised one child and I've noticed some of the mistakes I've made with parenting just as well as I have most certainly missed some," he said, his hands dropping and dangling limply off the beam where he'd braced himself on his forearms. "I know I still have things to learn and I'm afraid of repeating the same mistakes or making even worse ones," Oritel looked like he wasn't quite there now but was instead lost in a future scenario in which he had to deal with the worst monster he could imagine – himself.

"I... really don't know what... how to help you," Valtor said to snap him out of it because he knew from experience how awful it was to be trapped in that nightmare and he didn't want to watch someone else get lost in it–except maybe his mothers, though, he doubted they could ever reach that level of self-reflection–even if he risked to come off as cold and uncaring.

"That's okay," Oritel's dismissive tone rubbed him wrong since he was sweating over his word choices only to be met with a careless shrug. "I just wanted to talk to someone who wouldn't immediately start reassuring me and dismissing my worries."

Valtor gaped at him. He had to be offended but every word of what Oritel had said was true. They weren't exactly friends so they could count on more genuine reactions from each other instead of a sickening dose of sugarcoating. It made perfect sense now why Oritel had sought him out. And he was actually happy to discover that Oritel had gathered enough about him to know he'd be honest with him. Not to mention that the conversation had been useful for him, too. He'd thought he was the only one having doubts about the way he was operating but if even someone like Oritel who was always parading with how perfect and capable he was, had all of his insecurities coming to the surface at the prospect of becoming a father–for the second time–perhaps it was more normal than he'd thought. Perhaps that was just how things were, and not a side effect of the terrible way he'd been raised.

"What is it like to be a father?" he asked, for he'd always wondered but had never known. He hadn't had a father. He wouldn't even say he'd had a mother even though he'd had three women posing as such.

Oritel narrowed his eyes in deep contemplation. "It's like you have a small princess that you want to protect from everything bad in the world and give her all of its wonders." That sounded very similar to how he felt about Griffin and he could see himself looking at a daughter of theirs the same way. "You want to teach her how to be strong and independent so that she'll be her own queen one day just like her mother." Oritel's eyes filled with love and tenderness and absolute fascination as he looked over to where Marion was sitting and Valtor was afraid to do the same in case he got too distracted by the sight of Griffin and missed what would follow. "Whatever she says goes without question." Oritel chuckled to himself as he was probably remembering what shenanigans he and Daphne had gotten into on her initiative and his inability to refuse her.

Valtor remembered now that he'd heard the same thing once. When Griffin had told him about her own father. But she didn't talk much about him since his death was still painful and he hadn't gotten to know him personally. He'd only met her mother and as much as he'd wanted to ask her about her husband, he hadn't felt comfortable pouring salt into her wounds. She'd been so warm to him, as if he was her own son, and he hadn't wanted to upset her. He only had what Griffin had told him and she'd mentioned that her dad had been unable to say no to her as well. He could see how that could be a universal thing. From Oritel's words he could tell that if he had a daughter, he'd be the happiest man in the world. No, in the universe.

"And as unbelievable as it sounds," Oritel continued, bringing him back to the present, "you love her even more than you love her mother if that's even possible."

That was where Valtor's eyebrows shot up as he couldn't imagine a thing like that. He'd never felt anything like his love for Griffin. He'd never really felt that much before he'd met her but his love for him filled his heart to the point where it felt like it would burst but it kept soaking it up and growing instead, allowing him to love her and the world in which she had helped him fit even more. He couldn't imagine anything stronger than that. But then again, a child would be a part of her and a part of him all together in one tiny human that they'd raise and give all their love to. So he knew he'd love it as much as he loved Griffin at least, and she was the thing he loved most.

"You should really have that talk," Oritel said as he patted him on the back before he rounded him to get off the porch and headed towards Marion.

Valtor turned to look after him only for his attention to be drawn by Griffin who was walking towards him, no traces of the alleged injury of her ankle.

"Making friends I see," Griffin said before lifting herself on her toes to kiss his cheek. She wasn't that much shorter than him in her usual footwear but she'd decided to ditch the heels at home since they were hardly suitable for a cabin in the woods. And her flat-soled boots didn't provide her with the needed height to reach the top of his body. "You seemed lost in thought," she said, her eyes welling up with curiosity, that usually made him want to kiss her but considering the topic he'd just discussed with Oritel, he was left with uneasiness at the sight of it this time. "What did you two talk about?" The question he'd hoped to avoid.

"I'm not sure Oritel would be okay with me sharing this information," he said as it probably wasn't a lie. Oritel had come to him since he'd had a reason not to want to talk to anyone else. And it was also the most convenient answer for him. He needed more time to consider when and how to start the conversation about children. Though, he'd been convinced that it needed to happen, and soon at that, so that was progress.

"Oh?" Griffin lifted an eyebrow as a small smile made its way on her face. He just hoped she wouldn't push it. "You two are sharing secrets now?" She looked down and took his hand between hers. "I'm so happy to hear that," she said, her voice just above a whisper and her eyes getting wet again as she gave him that soft look that made his heart ache at the tenderness she was displaying.

"It's all because of you," Valtor said as he cupped the side of her neck with his free hand. "You showed me how to fight for what I want and you've been guiding me towards self-improvement ever since we met." He leaned in and kissed her before she could start crying. He didn't want to see the tears even if they were from happiness. She was supposed to smile. She was supposed to be happy, and he'd make sure of it. It had become his mission long before he'd even realized he loved her.

Griffin broke the kiss and touched her forehead to his, forcing him to stay slightly bent over but he'd be happy to have that be his only problem. "You take all the credit for making the effort, though," she said and he couldn't help but imagine how she looked at the moment, right behind his eyelids. With her eyes closed, trusting blindly in him without any need for proof just like she always had, and her love reaching for him and keeping him warm even when the rest of the world regarded him with cold neglect. She was home and he didn't need to look to see that.

He pulled away and kissed her forehead before looking at her. He made sure she had her eyes on him before speaking. "I love you," he said as he moved his hand to cup her cheek.

"I love you," Griffin said as she leaned into the touch, closing her eyes and making her content-cat face as he liked to call it. She protested of course, insisting she didn't like cats, but he knew she was lying. There was no way she would look so much like one if she really hated them.

Griffin sighed in disappointment as she covered his hand with hers and peeled it off her face. "We should go join the others," she said, her reaction suddenly making a whole lot of sense. "Marion wants us to play a game." She barely finished before she burst out laughing at the horrified expression he knew had taken over his face. There was no way his terror could stay bottled up.

"Just, please, tell me it isn't some ridiculous game for couples again," he allowed himself to whine, knowing that would make Griffin smile, and it did. "If that's the case, I'm dragging you back to the woods," he said as he let her pull him towards the table where the others were waiting for them. The weather was good today so they could use the privacy that clearing Griffin had found offered to finish what they'd started in the kitchen earlier.


End file.
